Doubling Up

Another wedding based blog, sorry but it's pretty much all I am able to think/talk/stress about, that and a big birthday coming up for Mr T which may well bankrupt me but more of that another time.

I have something on my mind; the concept of not taking Mr T's name. We haven't broached this subject with his parents yet and maybe this is why I am blogging about it, maybe I am trying to get my argument straight just in case there's unrest about it. You see, I'm from a very complicated family with step parents and half siblings all over the place but in this instance I am thinking about the family I grew up with, my Father, Stepmother and my brother. Until last week, when she remarried, only my Stepmother, brother and I shared my Father's surname, if I take Mr T's, I lose that and I just don't want to. I have little left of my father, I don't know where his ashes are, I don't know what happened to any of his possessions, all I have are memories and photographs and, at the moment, his name.I have nothing against Mr T's family and I desparately hope they don't take offence at my choice, Mr T hasn't taken offence, he doesn't care either way, I can't help but worry his parents won't share this view and that his Grandfather won't understand. For me this marriage is about Mr T and I joining together, double barrelling my name seems like the sensible, albeit creating quite a mouthful when saying my full name, option to me. Even my Stepmother has doublebarrelled for her 4th marriage wanting to keep her name as close to my brother's as possible.

I suspect really as is the norm with someone who suffers paranoia about pretty much everything and I am just getting carried away with myself. I think really, if I step back and think about it in actual fact there's nothing for me to be concerned about, his parents aren't draconian and I doubt his Grandfather is likely to care, I am just steeling myself for the disapproval.

When we told them we'd decided to get married I was worried his Mother would automatically assume we would be going to a church, she's a very active member of their local church and I know before his brother married she'd said to his now wife "when you do get married, it will be in my church, won't it?" so I naturally had concerns this was going to happen again. As it happens, it didn't. I told her I hoped she wouldn't mind but we wouldn't be marrying in a church as neither of us are religious and we both felt it would be wrong to begin married life based on vows we did not believe in. I was so relieved, I had all but convinced myself she would be disappointed, which for me wouldn't matter but I was concerned for Mr T, he wouldn't want to upset his parents, I am sure. Still, I am worried it will be considered some sort of snub, not only have I been responsible for their son moving 15 miles away from home but now I am willing to take their contribution (they offered, we didn't expect/ask for it) towards the wedding but I won't take their name.

Look what I've done now, I've convinced myself again they're going to be annoyed about my decision. Well done me. I'm just going to not say anything till it comes up, if it's broached now it will look like it's an issue, won't it? Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.