is menthol addictive? i can't stop crunching on tunes and as far as i can see the only thing other than sweetener in them is menthol and cherry flavouring. hmmmm i've answered my own question there.... sweetener.

just sitting here in work i'm beginning to wonder what the sixteen year old me would make of me if she could have travelled forward 10 years. if i had travelled forward i'd have found me sitting in an office having my tea making skills dissected by a misogynist and then going home to a house filled with laura ashley wallpaper where i would proceed to listen to radio 2 and 4 (depends on time of day) whilst baking scones. seriously, i would have probably killed myself there and then. i don't know what i thought i'd end up doing with my life but i'm not sure this is what i had planned. in fact i know this isn't what i had planned, i had nothing planned which is precisely why i am sitting here typing this for want of something better to do while my friends are busy being pr managers, producers of prime time tv and other important and/or exciting things. i am not saying being important is exciting but i can pretty much guarantee it'd be a damn sight more interesting than sitting here. now i think about it, i think the 16 year old me would have been more horrified by the fact that the 26 yr old me hasn't had a holiday for 8 years rather than not having a proper job, a job where you don't have to make tea for people who are too important to do it themselves.

i shouldn't really moan, if i had the inclination, i mean really had the inclination i'd do something about it, i'd get carve out a career for myself, clearly tho, i don't have the inclination and thats the sad thing.

oh and i detest public transport. waiting for the bus this morning i remembered why walking three miles to work in the cold is preferable to public transport. i left the house earlier than if i was walking, i went to rearrange a doctors appointment and then waited for the bus, and waited, and waited. when they both turned up simultaneously, one 15 minutes late, one 5 minutes late i boarded it, arrived at work 5 minutes late. that's 15 minutes later than had i walked all the way here at the time i left the house. how very irritating. plus i had to move cos the woman behind me was making the most bizarre noise i've heard, i don't even know what that noise was, like a weird gulping thing, constantly. i could hear it over my ipod. moved to sit in front of two women who spent the entire journey discussing clothes their children used to wear and clothes for their grandchildren - one of which is too fat for skirts so has to wear pinafores at all times apparently. she didn't say fat, she's its grandmother, she said chunky. one of them has a son who's had a tracksuit since he was 16 and he still wears the jacket now, he shows his girlfriend the old pictures of him wearing it "she's one of these young girls thats always buying loads of clothes" and says to her that he's had it for ten years. lucky girl, she's got a catch there, very thrifty and into his retro clothes it seems.

right i am off to slit my wrists, the 16 year old me would be proud of that at least, i am sure.