Wedding Bore

This is difficult, this evening I am going to view some wedding venues, in secret of course because we still haven't got round to telling our families yet. I don't know why it's become such an issue, I find it difficult to comprehend that they will be particularly interested, afterall it isn't them getting married, it's Mr T and I.

We viewed two venues at the weekend, both owned by the same company, both on the same road, radically different in price for good reason. I feel as if we're going to have to really rethink our budget, the first place we saw was double the cost of the second place. The first had beautiful terraced gardens and enormous rooms furnished with antiques. The second did not have gardens of any sort but did have small rooms furnished antiques. I loved the first place, my bank balance, however, did not.

I fear I am going to have to sell a kidney

Still here

I have just had nothing of any note to say at all. Still don't.

Well, actually that's not entirely true, I do, I have a secret only 3 people know (not strictly a secret, I know).

Mr T has given in, he says this isn't the correct way to put it but I think it is, I have harped on so long that I've broken the poor chap. He's finally decided after ten years together he might actually marry me. It's strange, I've been thinking about the wedding for a good deal of the time we've been together but that's all it's been, idle thoughts about my dress, who would give me away, bridesmaids, where to sit our families who have never actually met each other before, that sort of thing. Only now, it might just happen, it's actually quite a scary prospect.

It's peculiar, all these plans I've had in my head for years are now going to have to be put into practice. Not to mention all the elements I haven't thought much about, bouquets, button holes, mothers' corsages - all three of them. I've had to email venues, ask them if I can have brochures, when can I view them. The day dreaming is now becoming a reality and quite frankly it is terrifying.

I suspect I will be a fully fledged Bridezilla, as my already appointed chief bridesmaid and Mr T have both declared. At least they're both braced for a good year and a bit of panicked anger from me. I know I will be a nightmare but then I am a control freak.

So anyway, we have decided to keep the nuptials quiet for the moment, until at least a venue and date are definite, I fear interference from either family will cause issues so it is for the best. Keeping quiet is killing me, I'd like to be able to chat to friends about it but I can't just in case a family member finds out via a third party. I know his mother will want to bring up the church issue, something I stand firm on, it's not happening, I don't believe in it so I'm not going to begin a marriage based upon lies. My mother will just generally want to be involved, she wasn't a part of my two older sisters' weddings and I have a feeling she'll try to compensate with this one, it's not happening either. As for stepmum, I don't think she'll interfere, she's not like the other two, thankfully.

The day Mr T suggested it, we had friends over, one of them said she wished someone would get married and demanded another friend married her other half, I wanted to say something then but I couldn't, only my best friend/closest confidant and her husband know this secret. Then a day or so later I nearly told another friend but then she mentioned her and her husband were planning a trial separation so that immediately stopped me in my tracks, I couldn't be that insensitive.

I'm going to crack, I just know I am. This is why I am writing this blog, just to get these thoughts out without talking to Mr T or my confidant, I don't want her thinking I've turned into a total wedding bore which I probably will do at some point over the next few months.

Right, in future, don't read my blogs, they will be wedding based which is highly likely to cause drowsiness.