Charlatans

A year ago yesterday my maternal Grandmother died which would explain the rather peculiar conversation I had with my Mother at the weekend. Not long after my Grandmother died my Mother and one of my sisters went to see a psychic, I understand that for some people this offers some kind of comfort, that perhaps the deceased are not really gone after all, I don't knock those who do this, personally I can't see the point and would rather just accept the loss and carry on, but there you go.

Anyway, as it is approaching the anniversary I assume she felt that she needed to know that my Grandmother was still about somewhere, watching over her. Fair enough. The pyschic, again fed her information from the other side, things she wouldn't have otherwise known, it's hard to remain sceptical but I do. Who's to say this isn't just what my Mother has read into vague comments and leading statements? The psychic told her she has 4 daughters (correct), one of them is having problems (aren't we all?), one of them is going to be going away somewhere ("and that's what Derek Acorah said" - no really, she went to see Derek Acorah who said the 19yr old one of us would be going to work away, of course she might do, she's young, has no ties, she could easily work abroad) and one of them has long dark hair, it's fallen out, just round the sides..... And here is where my issues lie. That one is me, as a result of my eating disorder my hair thinned a lot, I didn't have a bald patch or anything approaching a bald patch, my hair just wasn't as thick as it once was. The psychic has told my Mother that at 10pm every night she is going to perform some "healing" on me. Healing me of what? Why? I know it's wrong but I have really taken umbrage with this, I don't even believe in this yet I feel strangely uncomfortable and affronted at this unsolicited effort to "heal" me. Yes, if it really is all just rubbish peddled by charlatans then I have nothing to worry about, she's just a crazy lady thinking about a girl with a non-existent bald patch but then part of me, the illogical part of me cannot help but think perhaps there's something in this, and if there is, what is she doing to me? Is it even legal?

I just don't feel comfortable, not one little bit. She's also healing my mother of a stomach issue. Perhaps someone should get in touch with the NHS, the cure for cancer is in a crystal ball

Sentiments

It is rapidly approaching my birthday which means it is even more rapidly approaching the anniversary of my Grandmother's death. She died 3 days before my birthday. I never ever keep cards, I rarely even display cards, they're just too much like clutter for my liking, however, I do still have the card my Mother gave to me on my Grandmother's behalf complete with the money inside it, I can't bring myself to do anything with it, I don't know why but it just doesn't feel right to spend it. So do I leave it sitting in the card for the rest of eternity? I think I'll just donate the money to a charity. It's better with them than sitting on a window cill inside a card

When someone somewhere is trying to tell you something

I am going to Dublin in March, I am chief bridesmaid for my best friend, she has chosen to spend a night and a half over in Ireland for her hen party. The only problem is my passport expired in 2008, having not been out of the UK in 10 years I've had no cause to renew it until now..... Then I discovered I'd lost the expired passport. Hours of searching for something I last remember seeing in 2006 later I had to admit defeat and declare it lost. Owing to signatures being out of boxes, the countersignatory being unable to write etc it took five, yes five, attempts to get the forms ready to be sent off to the passport office.

Anyone else get the impression something terrible is going to happen IF I ever get to Dublin?

Gigs of the musical and comedic variety

One week in November, 4 gigs.

The first was Daniel Kitson who might well be the funniest stand up in the country. I love love love him and he really didn't disappoint, we took two friends with us who had never seen him before, for a while I was concerned they wouldn't like him. They did, they laughed from beginning to end. I am already looking forward to the next tour.

The next was Rob Brydon. I like him in interviews, he's amusing, chatty..... but none of us were sure about the stand up, it was ok, but perhaps having seen Daniel Kitson the night before ruined it for us, he had a lot to live up to. Totally different kind of comic I guess.

Then the first music gig...... Motorhead, I have never wanted to see a bad play live more than these guys. It has been something I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember but every tour there's been some reason or another I've not been able to go. Now though, I can die happy, I have seen Lemmy. Overkill was absolutely amazing. I didn't even get bored during the 5 minute drum solo, it was immense. I wish they'd tour again this weekend because I would be there like a shot. The only downside was the crowd, or at least the old, drunk men. One of whom held me by the waist (despite the 17stone Mr T at my side) and slurred at me for way too long than was necessary. He spoke to Mr T, apparently we didn't look like a couple. I didn't really care what he thought. I told him to stop touching me, he did. I ignored him speaking to me, he wasn't put off, he carried on. I nearly missed Ace of Spades because of him.

Last but by no means least was Alice Cooper, again a show I've wanted to witness for a long time. Probably since the opening bars of Feed My Frankenstein blurred out from the screen whilst watching Wayne's World. Sadly I am too short for an Alice gig. Standing about 10 people back from the stage and with a backcombed mullet worthy of Garth Elgar right in my face for the duration I didn't see an awful lot. The crowd again not only having zero concept of personal space acted in a very very bizarre manner which I have never seen at any other gig. Nobody danced. Every single person stood still, completely still. Maybe they were hypnotized by the man himself, maybe they didn't want to move for fear of losing their space I don't know, but what I do know is it was awkward. Anyway, I've now heard School's Out twice (why is anyone's guess) and I've heard Poison live, no Feed My Frankenstein though which was something of a disappointment but there you go, it's not a juke box it's a live performance. I must say for a man who died on stage three times (or three times that I saw) Alice does a pretty amazing show.

Next month, Tragedy, Imelda May and the Wildhearts in the space of a week and a half. My ears will not thank me but I'm certain I'm going to have fun.

One day

my boss is going to approach me as I sit at my desk upon which there is a pile of heavily scribbled upon paper and ask me what it is he pays me for.....

I won't be able to answer him.

This is quite a worry

Ear plugs

Well last night was the night to test the ear plugs, a night at a Wildhearts gig is always guaranteed to be an assault on the old ear drums. Pity then that I forgot to take them with me when I left the house. I am an idiot, a forgetful idiot.

Has beaten Apple

Hurrah. I am pleased to report I have beaten that slippery bugger iTunes. There's something hidden in the preferences menu which allows MP3 conversions. I am more pleased about this than perhaps I should be.

That's all.